Babylon Bee:

9 Signs You Belong To The Religion Of Peace

There are a lot of religions out there, but only one can be the religion of peace. How can you be sure you’re on the right path?

Here are 9 signs you belong to the true religion of peace:

1. You always proclaim “God is great” before stabbing someone: No one else is that committed to peace.
2. Everyone, regardless of creed, is invited to your 9/11 party: Peaceful AND inclusive.
3. You always give people a chance to convert before killing them: Incredibly thoughtful.
4. The guy who started your religion only executed 700 people or so: Hard to get more nonviolent than that.
5. You run to your underground bunker every time you hear thunder:Force of habit.
6. Many of your favorite phrases begin with “Death to ____”:It’s an exciting way to start a sentence.
7. You have a hard time not steering your vehicle into a crowd of pedestrians:So tempting.
8. You never miss an episode of The Tucker Carlson Show:That guy really speaks your language.
9. The people who say you aren’t the religion of peace have been murdered:All doubts erased.

https://babylonbee.com/news/9-signs-you-belong-to-the-religion-of-peace/